Bombarded

Lately, I've been writing tons of blog posts, all in my head as thoughts swirl but hands are mothering our baby boy.  They range from topics which tug at my heart to moments where conviction grabs me about a sin struggle to shedding tears for loved ones in the midst of loss to the absolute, undeniable joy I find in the newness of what I am experiencing now to being honest about the complete difficulty of that same now.  I've written so many posts and although I don't want these thoughts to slip through my fingers, this baby boy is so much more important. 

Currently, he is napping.  By himself.  In his pack n' play.  His ability to nap in this state usually lasts for 30 minutes.  Today, we just reached 39 minutes a second ago.  I am expecting a cry for rescue at any moment but in these few minutes I hope to complete my thoughts for this one topic. 
Poppa's been on a preaching roll, as in rolling over me with heart challenges and convicting this sinner.  It's his "there's a time for laughter and a time for tears" Ecclesiastes series.  Can I please tell you, this is a difficult book to swallow?  In short, God has a plan for your life, yay!  This plan will most likely include heartache, suffering, and events you, as a sane individual, would not dream of asking to happen to you.  No more yays.  However, you have hope because your life is God's plan and His grace is sufficient.  Yay.  Gulp.

I need to hear this.  I need to be bathed in knowing God's plan is not always mine.  I need to be reminded of this Truth.  But.it.is.not.easy.

 The past two Sundays I've come away with the following, hence the bombarded idea.  He (He being God through Poppa) keeps coming back to my identity.  Which is what?  Lately, I've thought it was being a mommy.  Finally.  I am a mom.  Before now it was a wife coupled with teacher and the ever true family girl (daughter, sister, aunt), with a final bow of friend added to the definition of me.  Laced through all of this is the fact that I am a follower of Christ.

Nope.  Granted, all of these titles are a part of who I am, but often, I leave out the most important part of my identity, the God I serve. 

So, instead of these titles defining me, my renewed goal is for my life to bear one title:  living to the glory of God.  Then, people are welcome to call me one of the above but my hope is that in any of these roles I would first and foremost live to His glory.

To close, as Lizard says "Preacha' preach!"  Thankful I am blessed to live under the guidance of a man who does not shy from preaching the word of God, even when it might make his flock uncomfortable or convicted. 

Yea.  Baby boy made it to 53 minutes.  We are breaking records y'all!  And, off I go.