On Loan: His ways

...are not always how I would write the script.  Yet, His ways, when you can see from the other side, seem to be best.  The past few days have been nerve-wracking.  In the midst of it all, we've been surrounded by prayer and kept in the confines of God's infinite mercy. 
After a routine eye check-up in March and a follow-up Monday which left me walking out of the office clutching a prescription which had a diagnosis, MRI needed, and meeting with neurologist requested, I was choking back tears and made frantic phone calls to SPK and my OB.  In my head I kept repeating "but I am pregnant...what about the baby?...what are we going to do?"...SPK googled the diagnosis, then promptly sent me a family friend's number, a neurosurgeon, to call for advice.  His 'call him NOW' shook me out of my stupor long enough to dial and relay the happenings of the past 8 weeks.  Thank you Lord for John.  I can't say that enough.  He was a trusted professional who gave calm advice and straight up answers.  Most of all, he wanted a second opinion from someone he trusted...
So, this afternoon, I found myself walking into an opthamologists' office with my mom by my side, numbly praying for God to work and at the same time, for Him to give me strength to trust.  The short of it?  No MRI needed.  He didn't even dilate my eyes!  Praise God!  I was most concerned about Baby K and these procedures which can be invasive for little ones.  Instead, I had two ultrasounds...one on each eye!  (I kept these for the Baby book for old times' sake.)  They will also be a memory of how God lead us down a scary path, which was also a time of great dependence on Him. 
After my ultrasounds, the doctor guided us through how he disagreed with the original diagnosis and he said it was calcifications on my optic nerve, i.e. Drusen.  These are 'common' and can lead to other situations, but with regular check-ups and medication, the 'others' are avoidable. 

I am truly thankful for the last few days...including the moments when I was completely overwhelmed and scared.  Although these were not defined by 'fun', they served to mold me, to drive me to trust in spite of overwhelming fear, and to give Him glory.  I am grateful for God's protection over our little one.  So incredibly thankful for that.  And, I am floored by how He weaves His tapestry each and everyday; from prayers of many to today's doctor already hearing my story from a close friend a few days ago.  He realized I was the same person he was told about earlier!  Finally, I was reminded, once again that ALL of this life that I know: health, baby, sanity, each breath, they are on loan from Him. 

Isaiah 55:8-13

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,”

declares the Lord.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts.

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,

and do not return to it

without watering the earth

and making it bud and flourish,

so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

so is my word that goes out from my mouth:

It will not return to me empty,

but will accomplish what I desire

and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

You will go out in joy

and be led forth in peace;

the mountains and hills

will burst into song before you,

and all the trees of the field

will clap their hands.

Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree,

and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.