Struggles & Cheers

Lately, I've struggled with a few concepts which I am sure are 'lifelongers'. 
1)  How does one truly live immersed in grace?  As a rule, I tend to try to give 100% in all I tackle which leaves me with a lot of action oriented thinking.  Yet, I serve an amazing God for whom I can do nothing, absolutely nothing, which compares with what He does for me and has done for me and will do for me.  So often, I look in the mirror and realize I am 'trying' again.  Honestly, my trying gains me not a thing.  My constant prayer is for Christ to take my thoughts, my burdens, my fears, my frustrations, my anger, etc.  But, the next minute I am trying to solve it.  Still struggling and expect this to continue.

2)  What's the point of being honest?  Have you ever been honest with someone, totally opened yourself up to them, and then they respond....but you start to think everyone else thinks you don't deserve the same honesty?  I'm starting to think personal walls are a must, regardless of the expected relationships.  Is it sad that I expect dishonesty? 

3)  To-do lists and the fact that they never end!  Okay so this one is just a fact of life.  Don't get me wrong; I love a good to-do list.  Even more, I love marking out what has been accomplished.  Recently, my to-do lists just grow longer and longer tails.  It's like my to-do lists have become salamanders. 

4)   Expectations.  When they are too much.  When they are purposeful to being disagreeable.  When they are meshed with irresponsible behavior.  When it's only expected of some but not others.  When they are too little.  

5)  God's timing.  Once in awhile, so easy to see, but most often, the most obscure piece of my existence.  Stumps me on a continual basis.  Resting on 'His mercies are new every morning'.

Now, some reasons for the word cheers to enter this conversation.  Here is a list of positives from 2011:
-Charleston, SC; Nags Head, NC; traveling many miles over 12 months
-Husband
-SPK and Lizard's friendship
-Mumford and Sons; Laura Story; ZBB
-Africa; a summer parkway drive with Mom and Noni
-Reading the entire Bible and having it equal rest for a weary soul in Him and Him alone
-Ann Voskamp
-early mornings
-job provision
-sweetness of friendships which caught me by surprise, encouraged me in my walk and traversed difficult roads with me (those who reminded me that honesty is real and available)