Oil Slick

In the past few weeks my physical locations have varied to the extent that I have been yearning for a few nights' rest in MY bed.  In the midst of the location chaos, my spiritual location has been riddled with darkness and lack of hope.  Once again, I'm being honest, so bear with me.  As I describe where I've been, let me warn you.  It is not pretty.  It is not sunny.  It is difficult, overwhelming, and heavy.  If you are not a realist, you should stop reading now. 
Honestly?  Monday and Tuesday, a week ago, were unforgettable days.  Outside the weather was bright and even though the sun beamed down, I felt like I was in the throes of a 3:00 AM time slot for a full 48 hours.  But, it was worse.  Think back to when the Gulf of Mexico experienced the BP oil spill.  Did you watch the newscasts about the animals covered by the spill?  I was one of those guys.  Drenched in a black oozing substance which rendered me immovable, sick, fighting for my breath.  I was at a crossroads.  The details don't matter.  Basically, I realized I had to answer the following question:  was I willing to trust God's path for my life?  Is trusting Him more important than my plan? 
And so, instead of succumbing to the oil and allowing it to help me slide into a selfish existence, I began to struggle.  The following is a peek into my processing:  Often, I hear people say the Lord's prayer.  I'll admit when sports teams use it as their pre-game 'prayer' I cringe.  When people mutter it or say it on a whim, when it is just put on a wall because it looks religious and pretty in a frame, all of these occasions cause me to swallow hard.  The Lord's prayer is tough.  Think about these words..."hallowed be thy name"...i.e. holy, worthy of my minute by minute worship, no taking in vain, You are the most important being I know.  "Thy will be done"...God's, not mine.  He has the steering wheel in His hands.  Joy may rain down but heartache, trials, persecution, not getting what you think you need/want, those things could happen, too.  In fact, as followers of Christ, the difficulties are what make us cling to Him most.  "Forgive our trespasses, as WE forgive those who trespass against us"...I just asked God to forgive me hinged on how well I forgive others.  So, I spent time wrestling with the reality of living my life under the umbrella of a God who is merciful and just, but who does not promise life is a picnic.  In fact, in light of knowing Him as my Saviour, life reminds me of who I truly am on a daily basis.  And, let's face it, I am not a picnic. 
So, is the oil slick still covering me?  No.  Instead, I bathed in the grace of my Lord and King.  I came face to face with how imperfect I am in light of the glory of my God.  He reminded me that He is my refuge and strength.  I can do nothing without Him.  Then, I resurfaced, with my daily focus being the cross.  I spent time with a mom who pushes me to Christ, not herself.  I listened to the uplifting but chastising words from my husband, which were also coupled with 'us' time.  I had the privilege of coffee with my dear sister in Christ, AB; who encouraged, empathized, shed tears, and prayed with me.
Funny thing about oil slicks.  They happen at random times, out of the blue.  It's a good thing I don't have to plan my life around them because I know I am on the path called "His will be done".