Talking Through the Title Page

Life continues in spite of my inability to sit and type consistent blog posts in more than a year.  My last post was before a barrage of events came into our lives, some oh-so-good and some heartbreaking beyond belief.  Through these past months, as we've walked these events, some in our own lives, others with dear friends, there has been a constant thread of hope.  I'd like to think it is made of the purest white with a bleed of deep red.  Swirling in these events, has been me.  My reactions.  My actions.  My emotions.  My thoughts.  But again, there has been the constant, hope.  All along, my heart held onto a quotation from C.S. Lewis in his book "The Last Battle".  It was read by a dear friend during his sweet one's funeral, and it has been a reminder for my heart and mind, throughout this past year: "All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read; which goes on forever, in which every chapter is better than the one before."

Often, I view the cover and title page of this current life as all there is.  If I am being honest, I give in to the heartache of this world.  I've fallen under the spells and heavy loads of loss and grief.  Their weight causes an easy transition to countless days where starving for light and hope reigns.  The darkness is consuming and harrowing; it easily closes in and locks my heart away.  Others' careless  but sometimes well-meaning words become more callouses, taunting my heart to apathy; others' lives become reminders of what has been taken.  The rising of the sun each morning is both a relief from lack of sleep and a cruel reminder of a new day which requires me to function.  There's this.

But then, there's this... resilient hope, which will not die.  The reminder that I am not alone, we are not alone.  The first chapter has not even begun.  So Sing.  Sing for your heart to hear, for your friends to hear, for your family to hear, for your Savior to change the darkness into hope, step by step, moment by moment.  Read the Bible, because it is the Great Story's binding.  The words will not return void because of the thread of Christ's sacrifice, purest white with red bleeding through, and His victory over death. Don't let your heart forget hope.  In the darkest moments, there IS light, and yes, sometimes it is hard to see...but it is there.  Commit to look for it.  Let the reminder that the book, the Great Story, is not only authored by, but held by the hands of the Creator God.  Live in this hope and find, daily, minute by minute, ways to bury your soul in it, and to lift your head to live in the light of His hope. 

That being said, last year, we joined the Y.  It was one of the best decisions we've made.  We did have to re-budget a bit, but we decided (along with my doctor's recommendation) it was a needed change.  How does this have anything to do with hope?  Stick with me.

The view from our Y is worth the cost.  When I'm interval training on the treadmill, my view includes the mountains, as far as my eye can see.  On rainy days, the fog rolls over them and the sky's colors are deep navy blues and violets and splotches of gray.  Sunny days there are streams of light, which change their focus at the whim of the clouds moving freely between earth and sky.  My time spent on the treadmill has been coupled with this view and God's word.  A habit started last Spring, was just what my heart/body needed to traverse the path God laid out for our family this past Fall.  All the while, I was reminded of how light makes it through, though the days be sun-filled or storm-ridden.  And, usually?  The light isn't sunshine.  Instead, it is God's word, faithful, true, constant, coming back to me in snippets, in passages, in moments when I can't see past the dark, but He can.  He has.  He will.  All the while, He's teaching me how to travel through the darkness by the light of His Word, trusting He's writing the Grandest story, which will include my story, one I'm hoping will point others to Him.

In all honesty, I can't wait for Chapter One to begin...oh how my heart longs for the Chapter where loss and death and sin are gone.  But, as I sit here, I'm beyond grateful for the gift of this life, for the ability to be present for the authoring of the title page and cover, and for the daily decision to live for hope.  So, I'm living and learning, and I'm thankful.