Today, I had a lot of me time. I woke before my alarm. I refused to get up though. I spent ten minutes just basking in the gift of not having to be anywhere. I had a few of those stretches that make you yawn to the point of making an unintelligible sound. After a few minutes with the dogs, I took a morning walk. I'd planned for 40 minutes, it ended up being an hour focused on tackling hills and having a heart to heart with my Father. After walking, it was still only 9:00 AM. So, I ran errands. Three errands: my house, the bank, and Starbucks. I was craving a cranberry orange scone and a pumpkin spice latte. I didn't give in though. I had my normal decaf with extra soy and a scone (which I cut in half. Why? One scone is 490 calories that's why! And, that is also why I didn't get my latte and a scone. Yikes.)
I came home to watch a 30 minute clip that required tissues but offered encouragement. (Thanks, Lizard.) The clip reminded me of the Hebrew word for bitterness, 'mara'. So, the challenge began with my heart not to drink from the bitterness cup. To seek beauty, delight, and pleasantness instead of being buried in loss, sorrow, busyness, or fear. There's so much to this trusting God process. So much that requires putting myself down and picking up what He has for me; regardless of what I feel might be slipping through my worldly fingers. Hoping He would grab my hand and give me strength to unclench my fists. Because, then, only then will there be the ability to breathe deeply and stretch myself ready for the dawn of each new day. Praying my mouth will speak His praise, depend on His salvation, and drink in His new mercies every morning. Seeking to discern the kindness and righteousness of His works. Feeling the hushed tone of His presence when I cry out and the brightness of His glory as He saves me time and time again. Be it blessings, heart wrenching sadness, carefree Saturday schedules, emotional deadness, joy at provision beyond expectation, encouraging allies, betrayal, booming answers, silence: all blessings. Forever and ever.
Psalm 145:14-21
The Lord upholds all who are falling & raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to you and you give them their food in due season.
You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His works.
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.
He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him; he also hears their cry and saves them.
The Lord preserves all who love Him, but all the wicked he will destroy.
My mouth will speak the praise of the Lord,
and let all flesh bless his holy name forever and ever.
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